It was always a dream of mine to become a full time practicing artist.
I made that dream a reality in 2009. At first, I loved it and spent many hours creating. I was going in the right direction to achieve my dream and having some success doing it. That felt right for awhile but I started getting more and more disenchanted with my dream!
I started to have dis-ease in my heart.
I was feeling empty. Don't get me wrong - creating is a very important part of who I am. But somehow this dream wasn't totally fulfilling like I thought it would be.
There was something missing. Being a full-time artist felt selfish and indulgent. The only connection I had was to my art and creativity. I did not have any real human connection. I wasn't serving anyone!
I am a very introverted person and at the same time, I need deep meaningful conversations.
I felt empty. I had always been in a career where I served people and this was the missing component. Creativity alone was not filling my heart.
I needed more!
I started teaching workshops and helping others learn to paint and access their inner child. This has been very fulfilling for me and I am passionate about it.
My mentorship program brings me great joy as I work with the participants on a deeper level to help them grow.
There are still days that I feel like I am riding the wrong horse on the carousel.
These days I am checking in with myself often, going deeper in my thoughts to really get in touch.
Everything comes back to purpose and values.
Living a rich meaningful life is my ultimate goal.
What are the next steps on my journey?
Time will tell.